The Amazing Adventure of Marty Stu
by CassusFacade
Summary: Martin Stewart was the only American player trapped in SAO. Naturally, the duty to save them all falls to him.


Before him sat an open box containing a tangle of wires leading to a helmet. He'd been waiting for it to arrive for weeks. A NerveGear, the absolute pinnacle of gaming. Excited, he unpacked it and quickly hooked it up. Inside the box was also a copy of SAO, the only copy shipped internationally and the entire reason he'd wanted the NerveGear.

Martin Stewart, or Marty Stu as his friends called him, was a little worried about being the only American in SAO, but had read that the game could automatically translate audible dialogue, so he'd still be able to understand the other players. He held up the helmet, enjoying a moment of pride; he'd won the coveted international copy in a pro MLG gaming tournament months before.

He lay down on his bed and pulled the device on, starting it with the command. "Link start!"

A rush of colours flew past him before he was left in an empty abyss, with the character creation menu in front of him. Martin decided to set his avatar as in his own likeness, since he already looked pretty awesome.

Martin Stewart was a well built man reaching just under six feet tall. He had broad shoulders and a well muscled figure. His luscious blonde hair was just long enough to blow in the breeze, and his face was adorned with a seemingly permanent amount of stubble. A truer American would be hard to find.

He selected his starting equipment; a broadsword and a black tunic, it being the only colour available that was as truly deep as he was.

He materialized in the starting city, and decided to immediately head out to the fields and test his skills against the starting mobs. After a few minutes of wandering aimlessly, he came across a rabbit the size of his forearm, well toned as it was.

He swung his starting sword at it, but the creature proved an agile beast, dodging out of the way of his strikes. If he'd been wearing a hat, martin would have been tempted to tip it in acknowledgement of his foe's skill. The hare rammed into his shins, toppling him over, but he quickly recovered and speared his sword through it. After a moment's struggle it disappeared into blue and white shards and polygons. Sadly, there was no red to complete the trio of colours, but he at least was rewarded with a bit of experience and rabbit meat. Holding his sword aloft, Martin set out to conquer the rest of the game. For America.

He happened across a small group fighting a rather large boar. It rushed forward, knocking one of them over. Seeing that he was needed, Martin charged into the fray. By the time he reached them, he saw a girl around his age getting ready to attack the beast. Determined to save her, he charged past her and buried his sword into the boar's side, emptying its life bar and extinguishing its existence.

"What the hell? You stole our kill." She said. Clearly unaware of how he'd just rescued her. Delirious from her ordeal, most likely.

"No need to thank me." Martin said. "You're safe now."

"Who the hell are you?" One of her companions stated. He was short man that wasn't nearly as impressive as Martin.

"How rude of me. Allow me to introduce myself." Martin said, taking off his sunglasses that he was suddenly wearing. "In this game, my name is CassusFacade."

The third person in the group cocked his eyebrows. "That's stupid."

"I suppose you can always call me by my real name. The name's Martin Stewart." I said, removing a second pair of sunglasses. "But you can call me Marty Stu."

"Let's…let's go, guys." The shorter man said. He must have been intimidated by me. I'd have to tone myself down more in the future.

I nodded to the lady I'd saved, tipping my trilby, which is commonly mistaken for a fedora by those not enlightened. "M'Lady."

She recoiled, in wonderment at my charms. Before she could say anything, everyone present was engulfed in light. When the light had subsided, I noticed with my keen eyes that we were in a completely different location. We were back in the centre of the starting town, in fact. Without warning, the sky turned red, and an horrible red ooze seeped from the sky that was also red.

It collected into a hooded figure. I could not make out his face because he was wearing a hood.

"Hello, he said." He said. "I am Akihiko Kayaba. I made this game and now nobody can leave until you beat the game that I made."

He spent the next several minutes explaining how nobody could leave the game that he made, and the only way to leave was to beat the game. Being trapped here, it made my blood boil at what felt like 212 degrees Fahrenheit, because C is for Celsius, and also _communism_.

I pointed my sword to the hooded figure in the sky. "This game ill need a game master such as you!"

"what is a player?" he replied to me. "A miserable pile of data. Meet me at the Ruby Palace, then have at you."

With his words said, Kayaka disintegrated back into red ooze, seeping back into the sky. "Just try to win before your thirty day trials expiiiiirrrree."

Players all around me were caught in the midst of panic, but not me. I grinned, my hair blowing in the wind. I had my mission, and I would defeat Kanaba and beat the game. I, Martin Stu, would save everyone. Akiniko wouldn't know what hit him.

I marched out of the town, starting down the road. I spotted a lone wolf, a good first target on my way to liberation. I let out a battle cry as I charged it.

The wolf heard Martin's cry, and reeled around. With a snarl, it pounced on him, clamping his jaws around his neck. Martin attempted to dodge, but lagged. Perhaps playing the game internationally had been a poor idea. The two fell to the ground, the wolf's grip unrelenting. He gave a furtive gurgle as the life left his body and he crumbled into polygons. His sword clattered to the ground.

A few minutes later, a trio walked past. The girl knelt down, picking up the sword. "Neat, free sword."

"Is it any good?" The shorter man with her asked.

"No." She replied, looking at its stats. She dropped the sword and continued on. "Nothing about this was good."

* * *

I feel like this is the kind of fic that should come with its own apology, so...sorry?


End file.
